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How do you stop a dog chasing someone on a bike? Take its bike away.
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Why did the Baker have brown fingers?He kneaded a poo.
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Did you hear about the Hyena who swallowed an oxo cube?He made himself a laughing stock.
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'Mr. Whippy having a shit.'The punch line to my favourite visual joke.
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How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!
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And there I was ever so slowly (I'm not built for speed) working on something about English Heritage announcing the imminent extinction of The Great British Gag... researchers unable to find a butcher...
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I've just been on holiday in Lyme RegisIn Dorset?Oh yeah, I'd recommend it to anyone
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'I bought my wife an electric guitar.''A Fender?''No, she was actually quite pleased.'
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I've been having trouble with my racing snails. I thought if I removed their shells it might improve the power to weight ratio and make them go faster....But it only made them more sluggish
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Mummy, there's a man at the door with a bill. Don't be silly it must be a duck with a hat on.Well it always makes oi smile.
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Now do you turn a duck into a soul singer?Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.
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Y'know, if we didn't have electricity we'd have to watch television by candlelight...
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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.So the barman gives her one.
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How to you find Will Smith in the snow?Look for fresh prints.Boom boom.
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This was a cartoon:Caveman: "At last we have discovered the secret of fire. At last we can cook our food. At last we can have light in the dark hours. At last we can scare away predators. At last we...
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Two rabbits outside a toasted sandwich shop.Rabbit 1: I've been right through their menu. Ham and cheese, honey and peanut butter, tuna melt, jam and clotted cream. I think I'm going to dieRabbit 2:...
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My wife gave me a microphone from a popular German manufacturer.A Beyer?Depends what she wants.
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